Take Your Younger Self On A Date

We all know the varying levels of animosity that February 14th brings up. 

We see visions of pink, purple and yellow conversation hearts dance around in our heads as we float through the dopamine-packed aisles of Target wondering if we should in fact spend our whole life savings on Valentine’s Day decor (is that just me?). We have forced or excited conversations with our Galentines and classmates and children’s teachers and partners about treats and flowers and ooey gooey love. We boycott Instagram and wait for the day to slide away so the cheesiness can stop.

Maybe you have a disagreement with your partner because you love Valentine’s Day and they would prefer a world without the existence of it. Maybe you feel alone and the intrusive thought you have to pop every heart shaped balloon grows stronger with each day. Maybe you’re celebrating friendship and love with a photo wall and pajamas with your friends. Maybe it’ll just be another Wednesday for you. 

We have all identified with several of these versions of the people listed above, even if it was just for a moment in time.

I encourage you to think of these versions of yourself. What did that version of you need when you deleted your social media to avoid seeing pictures of couples? What emotions was that version of you feeling when you handed out Valentine’s to your classmates? Is it just another Wednesday for this version of you?

Keep thinking keep thinking…. 

Okay, pause. We’re really channeling our inner Cupid now. 

I want you to envision your 8 or 10 or 13 or 16 year old self. What did they think about Valentine’s Day?

Now Zoom out a little; who was your 8 or 10 or 13 or 16 year old self? What did they do for fun? Who were their friends? What was their place in the family? Did they struggle in school? Did they love sports? 

What did your 8 or 10 or 13 or 16 year old version of yourself need? 

I wonder what it would be like to channel this version of yourself this Valentine’s Day.

If I’ve lost you, don’t panic. 

I think we get so caught up in the Hallmark-y vibes of this day and lose sight of the purer intentions and reminders of connection and love.

“But you should love yourself/your partner/your friends/your family every day!!” - someone probably somewhere

UH HUH YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. We still give thanks on Thanksgiving, and we should be grateful every day! Holidays are not the end all for celebration; BUT they are important and cool little reminders to slow down. 

Do you give love to the younger versions of yourself every day?

I would venture a guess and say that you probably don’t even think about the younger versions of yourself that often. 

Here’s my challenge: take your younger self out on a date this Valentine’s Day. Think about those answers to the questions I asked earlier. What did you do for fun? What was your favorite food? Who was your favorite person when you were younger? 

I’ll start with a personal example!

My 16 year old self loved to go on drives with a freshly secured license. I would listen to my favorite music, pick up some fast food, and just drive with friends or alone… enjoying my new sense of freedom. I find myself annoyed by driving now. I don’t like the traffic, I’d rather be home. But that’s not the version of myself I want to give some love to this Valentine’s Day. I want to show my 16 year old self that I still love her and care about her and feel so grateful for how she grew and helped shape me into my present day self. 

If we don’t acknowledge the previous, younger versions of ourselves from time to time, we lose sight of our present day self. 

So, go to your favorite food place. Play a video game. Spend time and do your makeup. Read. Skateboard. Go to a trampoline park or mini-golfing. Hand out paper valentines. Call an old friend. Make your favorite dessert. 

Chat about this with your friends and partners! Remind yourself that the love and connection you have to these younger versions matters. Celebrate that love and connection with people you care about.

Maybe I have completely lost you, maybe you do just want this holiday to come and go and to go on with your normal Wednesday, maybe I got you thinking just a little bit.

Whether it’s on Valentine’s Day or three months from now, I hope you find yourself at your favorite childhood restaurant or doing a favorite activity from when you were twelve. I hope you pause and recognize how you feel in that moment. I hope you feel ooey gooey love. 

Take care of yourselves. :)

Emily

Becoming Therapy Services, LLC